


The Long Road Home

by Katiegirl901



Series: Hurricanes and Hope [3]
Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M, Hurricanes and Hope Series, Road Trip, Smut, prompt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-07-08 04:11:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19863280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katiegirl901/pseuds/Katiegirl901
Summary: What will happen when Jack and Gibbs are forced together for every minute of everyday for twenty-three days? Will they finally cross the line between friends or more or will they finally snap under the tension of the last few cases and kill each other? Part of the Hurricanes and Hope prompt collection.





	1. On the Road

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place sometime after Hail and Farewell but before Judge, Jury and Executioner... Realistically we all know this would never happen but hey I liked the idea so here we are... I will be using this 'trip' to answer quite a few prompts from the Hurricanes and Hope prompt collection so this will be M/E Rated so read at your own risk.

Chapter One

She studied the sweater before folding it and placing it in her nearly full suitcase, she gave a satisfied sigh and closed the lid, zipping it up easily. She stepped back from her bed and crossed her arms over her chest as she surveyed the pile of bags sitting on her bed. A good sized suitcase, her laptop bag, a backpack full of books and Psychology Journals, four garment bags of her work clothes, and a makeup bag. Normally she packed much lighter, almost never more than a garment bag and a medium sized suitcase but an almost twenty three day road trip required a bit more than her usual amount of luggage.

She enjoyed travelling to some degree. She enjoyed flying and warm destinations but she couldn’t say she was thrilled about the idea of twenty three days trapped in a car with Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs, not after everything that had happened in the last few months. She still had a lot to say to Leon Vance about his idiotic idea but she had kept it to herself after spending an hour calmly, and then not so calmly, telling him why it was a bad idea. But according to Leon she was the only Agent who could handle spending that much with Gibbs. She didn’t doubt his reasoning but she still wasn’t sure exactly why she and Gibbs had to be the ones to do the semi-annual review on the NCIS field offices, or why they had to drive. Part of her understood that with budget cuts they couldn’t fly to each location, not with as many on the list as they had but she still resented it.

She did one last survey of her apartment before grabbing her bags off of her bed. It took her two trips but she managed to get them all downstairs and onto the front stoop. She sat down on the top step to wait. A black SUV pulled up in front of her building within five minutes and she offered Gibbs a small smile as he hopped out of the drivers side. She was at least grateful that Leon had given them an SUV rather than a smaller sedan for their trip.

She stood up and slung her backpack over her shoulder, and picked up her laptop bag and purse.

“I can grab those.” She called over her shoulder as Gibbs grabbed the remainder of her bags.

“I got it.” He replied.

It only took him a moment to place her suitcase in the trunk and hang her garment bags in the back seat while she settled her laptop bag and purse in the passenger seat before putting her backpack in the back seat.

She climbed into the passenger seat and raised her eyebrows at the coffee cups sitting in the cupholders and the large thermos on the back seat.

“That one’s yours.” Gibbs said, nodding towards the takeout cup closest to her.

“Thank you.”

She picked up the cup and took a sip and sighed contentedly as the sugary brew passed over her lips. She knew Gibbs scoffed at how she drank her coffee and that made her all the more grateful that he had still been willing to get one for her. She settled into her seat and buckled up her seatbelt as Gibbs pulled away from the curb outside her building.

“How long is the drive today?” She asked after a few minutes as they entered into early morning DC traffic.

“‘Bout seven and a half hours.” He replied, taking another long gulp of his coffee, “should be in Columbus by sixteen hundred or so if we stop for lunch along the way.”

She nodded and watched as they slowly moved along the highway. She could tell that Gibbs was less than impressed with the entire assignment and the traffic seemed to have him even more on edge so she pulled out her phone and put on her glasses to respond to a few emails to distract herself from his moodiness.

By the time they had made it out of the city almost forty-five minutes later the silence was starting to grate on her nerves. She knew Gibbs wasn’t one to listen to music or the radio but she was the opposite, she enjoyed a bit of background noise. She finally gave up and plugged her earbuds in to her phone, only putting one in her ear so she could hear Gibbs should he need something.

After another half hour of sitting in silence she realized that she was going to need a washroom sooner rather than later, the bottle of water she had finished at her place and the cup of coffee Gibbs had given her doing nothing to help the protesting from her bladder.

“When do you need to stop for gas?” She asked, seeming to startle Gibbs out of his silence.

“Not for another hour or two.” He replied, “Why?”

“Because _I_ need to stop.” She explained quietly.

She rolled her eyes when Gibbs sighed quietly but was silently relieved when he took the next available exit.

“May as well fill up now.” He explained as he pulled up to a pump, “Go on in.”

She nodded her thanks and unbuckled her seatbelt before making her way into the small gas station. Luckily it was early enough that there was no line for the bathroom and she was out in under two minutes. She wandered up and down the minimart aisles grabbing a few random items and a couple of bottles of water before going up to the cash to pay for her stuff.

She passed Gibbs in the doorway as he went in to pay for the gas with the credit card Leon had given them and held up the bottles of water to show him that she had gotten one for him. He nodded his thanks and continued onto the counter while she went to settle herself back in the SUV.

By the time he reappeared she was sitting in the passenger seat with a book open in her lap and earbuds in.

“Let me know when you need me to drive.” She offered, pulling out one of her earbuds to look across at Gibbs.

He grunted noncommittally and nodded before turning his eyes back to the road.

N*C*I*S

By the time they stopped for lunch at a small diner somewhere in West Virginia Jack was quite sure that this would be the longest twenty-three days of her life.

She unbuckled her seatbelt and slid out of the passenger seat, stretching her back after the last three hours in the car. She followed Gibbs up the stairs and took in the rustic seating and small booths at the back of the restaurant.

“Take a seat wherever you’d like!” The waitress called without turning around from the counter where she was making coffee.

Jack followed Gibbs to one of the empty booths in the back and slid in across from him, she grabbed two menus out of the holder on the table and passed one over to him.

“What do you feel like?” She asked after glancing through the menu.

“Probably a burger.” He replied, putting down his menu, “What’re you getting?”

“I think I’m going to try this chilli and slaw hotdog, apparently it’s a West Virginia staple.” She replied with a raised eyebrow, “it sounds interesting.”

Their waitress arrived and they placed their food and drink orders, the hotdog, salad and a Diet Coke for Jack and a burger, fries and coffee for Gibbs. They sat in comfortable silence until the waitress returned with their drinks.

“Have you heard anything from Ellie?” Gibbs asked, taking a sip of his coffee as he looked across the table at Jack.

“Not yet.” Jack replied, “but I’m sure they’re fine, it’s not Tim’s first time being in charge and Ellie and Nick are perfectly capable Agents.”

Gibbs raised an eyebrow at her reassuring tone and glanced out the window at the gravel parking lot.

“Have you heard anything from Leon?” Jack asked after a few minutes.

“Nah, we’ve gotta check in once we get to the hotel tonight.”

“It’s, what, another four hours from here?”

“About that.” Gibbs replied, “as long as we don’t hit construction or traffic.”

She nodded and moved her drink aside as their waitress returned with their food, Jack rubbed her hands together excitedly as she eyed the huge hotdog in front of her.

“This looks amazing.” She muttered happily, “your burger looks really good too.” She added, looking at the melted cheese oozing off of his bacon cheese burger.

They both dug into their food with gusto and ate in silence until they were finished, neither of their meals exactly conducive to chatter.

“That was so good.” Jack stated as she took the last bite of her salad.

Gibbs nodded his silent agreement and signalled for the bill.

“I’m just going to run to the washroom before we go.” She informed him before getting up from the table.

Back outside Jack found Gibbs leaning against the SUV with a takeout coffee cup in his hand.

“Do you want me to drive?” She asked as she approached the vehicle.

“Nah, I got it.” He replied.

She rolled her eyes as soon as his back was turned and climbed into the passenger seat.

N*C*I*S

By the time they pulled up in front of the hotel in Columbus, Ohio four and a half hours later Jack was sure she had never felt so relieved to see a building. The afternoon had gone exactly the same way the morning had with only one break to give them five minutes apart and she was excited to escape to her own room for a bit of solitude. She grabbed her suitcase out of the trunk and followed Gibbs into the hotel lobby. It wasn’t the Ritz by any means but it definitely wasn’t a crappy motel either.

She waited while he checked in at the front desk and eyed him wearily as he returned with only one key card in his hand.

“Leon only booked one room.” He explained with a sigh of discontent.

“Perfect.” Jack muttered under her breath.

“There’re two beds at least.” He supplied.

She nodded and conceded to the small upside to an otherwise less than satisfactory situation.

“There’s a pool and a free breakfast.” He added as they made their way to the elevators and up to the correct floor.

Jack was silently grateful that she had thought to pack a bathing suit, she wasn’t huge on pools but she certainly wouldn’t mind a bit of an escape and a bit of exercise. She followed Gibbs down the hallway and paused outside of their room as he inserted the keycard into the reader.

She glanced around the room and tossed her backpack on the bed closest to the window, the room was a typical hotel room with two double beds, a tv, a small desk, a mini-fridge, a closet and a bathroom.

“Are you hungry yet?” Gibbs asked, glancing at the takeout menus on the nightstand between their beds.

She glanced down at her phone and shrugged, “it’s only seventeen hundred but if we order in by the time it gets here it’ll be eighteen hundred.”

“What do ya feel like?” He asked, handing her the menus.

“Chinese sounds good.” She replied, handing back the menu.

“The usual?”

“Please.” Jack replied, “I think I’m going to go for a walk, check out the pool.”

Gibbs nodded as he dialled the number for the restaurant on his cellphone, she grabbed her phone and purse off of her bed and left the room.

She took her time wandering down the hall and down to the main floor, it took her a few minutes to find the pool and when she did she pulled off her shoes and rolled up her pant legs to dip her feet in. She kept an eye on the large wall clock to make sure she’d be back when the food arrived but for a few minutes she just enjoyed the solitude.

Being with Gibbs in the car was almost the same as being by herself but there was a difference between strained silence and peaceful silence. She knew things weren’t great between them, not since Faith and the Ellen Wallace case, but she had no idea how to fix it. She wasn’t willing to admit to him how much it had hurt her when he had basically hidden a wife from her. She wasn’t willing to admit it because she had no right to feel that way, they were friends and nothing more and she had no right to feel… Betrayed?… She really hated thinking that but she knew that it was the closest to what she hd felt when she had found out about Ellen.

It had just made everything more complicated… She knew that she felt more than friendship for Gibbs, she had known that since before Christmas but she could never tell how he felt, every once in awhile she thought maybe he might feel the same way and then other times, times like that day, she wasn’t even sure that he wanted to be friends with her never mind something more.

She trailed her toe through the water and tried to shut off her mind, she was unsure of a lot of things in that moment but she was sure that if she couldn’t shut off her feelings for Gibbs that this trip would feel even longer then it already did.

She heard the door to the pool open and laughed when two little boys flew past her before cannonballing into the pool.

“I am so sorry.” Their frazzled mother apologized as Jack stood up and attempted to brush the water off of her clothes.

“Don’t worry about it.” She replied easily, “They’re just being kids, they probably didn’t even see me there.”

“They were so excited to get to the pool, they were racing.” She explained, “Again I’m so so sorry.”

“Seriously, it’s fine.” Jack assured her, “don’t worry about it at all, it was nice to cool off a bit anyway.”

She reassured the mother one more time before leaving the pool, waving to the boys who were laughing and splashing each other. She made her way back upstairs and found the hotel room empty. She changed into a dry top and pulled on a pair of terrycloth shorts before setting herself up on her bed with her laptop.

By the time Gibbs reappeared fifteen minutes later, arms laden with Chinese takeout bags, she had finished returning the emails that had accumulated during the day and had checked in with Ellie. She quickly shut her laptop and helped him to find a spot to unpack all of the Chinese food. 

“I talked to Ellie.” She informed him as they sorted out containers, “according to her everything is still standing and you need to stop worrying.”

“Wasn’t worrying.”

She silently rolled her eyes at his gruff protest, they both knew it was a lie but she wouldn’t call him on it. They ate in relative silence, only talking when necessary and then cleaned in silence until it was time to call Leon with an update. By the time they did that it was after 2000 and Jack needed a break from the silence again.

“I’m going to go down for a swim.” She informed him as she grabbed her bathing suit out of her suitcase.

She went into the bathroom and changed into her army green bikini and pulled her shorts and a t-shirt back on over top of it. When she went back into the room Gibbs was sitting in the small armchair in the corner with a book open in his hands. She left the room wordlessly and made her way downstairs again, finding the pool easily this time.

She was pleased to find it empty and quiet, she tossed her towel down on a chair and looked around, silently debating whether to leave her t-shirt on while she swam or not. She finally peeled it over her head but left it on the ground within easy reach of the pool so she could pull it back on should someone come in.

She swam for over an hour before getting out and towelling off her short blonde hair, she was just about to get redressed when the door to the pool opened. She reached for her shirt but paused when she saw that it was only Gibbs standing in the doorway seemingly frozen in place as he stared at her.

“You good, Cowboy?” She asked when he didn’t say anything.

She reached over to the chair and grabbed her t-shirt, she pulled it over her head while she waited for Gibbs to say something. Her head popped out of the top of her shirt just as he silently shook his head, almost as if he was shaking himself out of a trance.

“Just wanted to make sure you were okay.” He replied.

“I’m fine.” She replied, raising her eyebrow, “I was just about to come up, are you going to swim?”

“No.” Gibbs replied quickly, “gonna go grab a coffee, do you want anything?”

“I’m okay, thanks though.” She replied, “I think I’m going to go take a shower.”

Gibbs nodded and watched her for another moment before turning around and leaving the pool area. Once he was gone she gathered her belongings and made her way back up to their room. She took a shower, hung up her wet bathing suit and grabbed the travel journal she had bought for herself before climbing into bed.

_Day One -_ _Columbus Ohio_

_Today was a quiet day, Gibbs barely said fifty-words the whole day and things are still tense. Hoping tomorrow will be better._

It wasn’t much but she wasn’t sure what else to write, eventually she would add pictures and the postcards she had bought in gas stations along the way but for that evening she tucked the book back into her bag and pulled out her laptop to watch a movie.

She could see Gibbs getting ready for bed out of the corner of her eye but didn’t acknowledge his presence as she watched her movie. She dimmed the screen on her laptop as he climbed into his bed and rolled onto his side facing away from her. She finished her movie, turned off her laptop and pulled out her earbuds. She put everything back in her laptop bag and laid down, listening to Gibbs’ even breathing in the bed across from hers. She knew without a doubt that she would not be sleeping that night.


	2. The Sound of Silence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEXT CHAPTER! I hope you guys enjoy, the m/e rated stuff is coming up! I love to hear from you guys!

Chapter Two

She had been correct to assume that she wouldn’t be able to sleep and by five thirty in the morning she had given up on the ruse entirely and had gone to take a shower to try and make herself more alert. She quickly pulled her hair back into a ponytail and pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, they would be making their first stop at the St.Louis Field Office that day but they would be going to their hotel to drop off their bags before hand. If she was going to be stuck in a car with a grumpy Gibbs all day then she would at least be comfortable and not stuck in the more work appropriate dress she had chosen for that day.

By the time she was out of the bathroom Gibbs was pulling a t-shirt over his undershirt, apparently thinking the same way she was as far as comfort for their drive.

“The hotel has a complementary breakfast.” She said, “I’m going to go down and eat, want to join me?”

“Sure.” He shrugged, “gonna have to run and grab real coffee before we get on the road.”

“I’d expect nothing less.” She quipped with a small grin.

Gibbs snorted as he grabbed his wallet and cellphone off of the bedside table before following Jack out the door.

Breakfast was yet another meal eaten in almost complete silence. Jack was used to silence from the stoic man across from her but it had always been companionable silence, this silence was bordering on tense and she was just about at the end of her patience with it. She finished the last bite of her waffle and informed Gibbs she was going back up to the room to make sure everything was packed while he ran to get coffee.

It only took her a few minutes to make sure everything was packed so she loaded their bags onto the cart she had brought up with her and brought them down into the lobby. If Gibbs was surprised to see her at the front desk checking out with their bags he didn’t show it as he approached to paper cups of coffee in his hands.

“I’ll go get the car.” He offered as he handed her a coffee.

She nodded her thanks and approval before turning back to the clerk to finish signing the last of the papers. By the time she had finished and pushed the cart through the front doors Gibbs had the SUV brought around and parked. He helped her load the bags and then brought the cart back as she made herself comfortable in the passenger seat.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive?” She asked.

“I’m good.” He assured her as he buckled himself in.

She didn’t even bother to try and make conversation or even attempt to be social as Gibbs focused on the traffic ahead of him, she had learned from the previous morning that it would be pointless. She put in her earbuds and turned on an audiobook, she could see Gibbs concentrating on traffic and every once in awhile he would glared disdainfully at the GPS when he was unsure of which exit to take.

Two hours into the six and a half hour drive they stopped for gas and Jack went in to use the washroom. On her way out she stopped to grab herself a handful of suckers and a small bag of sour candies to munch on. She saw Gibbs eye her purchases with a raised eyebrow that she promptly ignored.

By the time they stopped for lunch four hours into the trip she was ready to pull her own hair out and she barely said two words throughout the meal. She could almost cut the tension in the car with a knife as they finally entered St.Louis. She sighed in relief as they pulled up to the hotel and jumped out of the car as soon as Gibbs made a complete stop.

“I’ll go check us in.” She called over her shoulder, desperate for even a second to herself.

Inside of the hotel, a mid-level Best Western, she approached the desk where a young looking man was flipping through papers.

“Hi there.” She greeted, trying to sound upbeat, “I have a room reserved under Jack Sloane or Leroy Jethro Gibbs.”

“Of course.” He replied, “Unfortunately check in isn’t until three o’clock, I can check and see if your room is ready but I don’t think it is yet.”

“Okay.” Jack replied, trying to keep her voice positive, “if it’s not is there anywhere we could possibly change? We’re in town for work.”

“Of course.” The man, his name tag read Clark, replied, “There’s a room just down this hall where you can change and you can leave your bags in there, only myself and the other clerk have keys.”

“Thank you.” Jack replied with a kind smile.

She wasn’t thrilled with the situation but she knew it wasn’t Clark’s fault, she just wasn’t looking forward to telling Gibbs.

He responded exactly as she expected he would and she had to physically bite her tongue to keep from snapping at him. If this was what their entire trip was going to be like she was willing to bet one of them wouldn’t survive it and if she had any say it would be him.

N*C*I*S

By the time they finished up at the St.Louis field office Jack was vividly imagining different ways to kill Gibbs. She understood why things were tense between them, if she was honest with herself a lot of it had to do with her but at least she wasn’t flipping back and forth between acting like everything was normal and acting like he just didn’t exist the way Gibbs was acting with her.

The car ride back to the hotel was dead silent and she was more than ready to put a bit of distance between them.

She grabbed the keys from the front desk while Gibbs parked and unloaded the car. Gibbs appeared by the front desk just as she was getting the room keys, she told him the room number and they rode the elevator in silence.

She unlocked the room and held the door open for Gibbs as he brought in their luggage. She followed him into the room and almost ran into him when he stopped suddenly. She peeked over his shoulder to try and see what had him stopping in his tracks and groaned when she saw it. A single queen sized bed.

“Son of a bitch.” She muttered.

“I’ll take the floor.”

Jack ran her hands through her hair and rolled her eyes. A small part of her appreciated the gesture but another part of her, the bigger part, the exhausted, fed up and hungry part of her wanted to reach out and hit him for making such a stupid suggestion.

“So I can listen to you complain about a sore back during the car ride tomorrow?” She asked, her irritation finally breaking through.

He turned around and studied her with a raised eyebrow but she didn’t waiver.

“You okay?”

She widened her eyes at the question and snorted indignantly.

“Am I okay?” She asked with a humourless laugh, “I’ve spent the last two days in the car with you, you’ve barely said ten words today… Look I get it, things suck right now and being stuck together doesn’t exactly sound like my idea of a good time either but we have over twenty days left and this is going to be Hell if we keep going this way.”

She knew she sounded hysterical, hell she felt hysterical but she really couldn’t bring herself to care.

“I can’t do this for another twenty days, Gibbs.” She added, her voice a bit more steady, “and right now I really don’t want to have to share a bed with you when you very clearly don’t want anything to do with me but I won’t let you sleep on the floor either.” She bit her thumb, “right now I just need twenty minutes alone, I’m going to go for a walk, I’ll see if there’s another room available or something and we can brief Leon when I get back.”

She turned on her heel and let herself out of the room before he could say anything. She had never been to St.Louis before and had no idea where to go so she wandered up and down the block for half an hour and then went back to the hotel to check and see if there was a room with two beds available or even another single room available.

She silently cursed comic book conventions when Clark informed her that there were no more rooms because of a convention taking place at the hotel.

She killed another few minutes people watching in the lobby before she reluctantly made her way back up to their room. She let herself in and found Gibbs sitting on the edge of the bed, his hands folded in his lap.

“I’m going to grab a shower.” She stated.

She made a beeline for her suitcase and managed to pull out her pyjamas, a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, before Gibbs spoke up.

“I was bein’ a bastard.”

She crossed her arms over her chest and turned to him, her face blank.

“Yeah.” She agreed after a minute.

“Not just today.” He added.

“You’re going to have to be a bit more specific.”

“Ellen.”

She tightened her arms across her chest and looked away from him, she was afraid her eyes would give away exactly how she felt about that particular topic and it wasn’t exactly a conversation she was ready to have.

“Why was it you in the interrogation?”

She looked at him in surprise at the random question.

“They were afraid to go in.” She replied with a small shrug “They didn’t want to be the bad guy and they didn’t want to piss you off.”

“They’re adults.”

“They’re also your kids and they didn’t want to jeopardize their relationship with you.”

“So they sent you in.”

“No.” She replied, “I went in on my own.”

Part of her had done it because she knew none of the ‘kids’ would but she also cared about them enough to not subject them to Gibbs’ wrath.

“If I had known how it would’ve made things I might not have done it.”

“You were the one who pulled away.” He pointed out calmly.

“Because I was hurt!” She exclaimed without thinking, “you looked me in the eyes and lied to me!”

She dropped her arms and clenched her hands at her sides trying to reign in her anger but she was having a hard time.

“You lied to me about Faith.”

She drew back as if she had been slapped, everything in her wanted to get angry, wanted to scream at him but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it, she was just so goddamn tired all of a sudden. She tilted her head forward and ran her hands through her hair.

“No.” She corrected firmly, summoning all of her strength to keep it together. “I never lied, I didn’t give you the whole story but you never asked, I _never_ looked you in the eyes and lied to you about an important part of my life… We don’t do that, Gibbs, we’ve _never_ lied to each other about anything.”

He seemed to be studying her and she let him for a moment before she spoke up again.

“I am trying… _So hard.”_ She swallowed and silently cursed herself as her voice cracked, “So hard to make this work right now but you keep pushing me away and I just don’t get it. What happened to being on my side?” She asked, “what happened to being partners? I don’t know if this is you trying to protect yourself but this isn’t what we do, we _don’t_ push each other away.”

“I’m not protecting myself.” He muttered, his eyes focused on the door behind her.

“Then why are you pushing me away?” She asked, pursing her lips, “Why are you doing this all of a sudden? Damnit, I deserve an explanation, Gibbs.”

“I’m tryin’ to protect you!”

She actually laughed at his outburst, a mirthless laugh that ended in a sob.

“Protect me from what?” She asked, her voice rising, “do you think this is protecting me? Do you not understand that in trying to ‘protect’ me you’re hurting me? Because this hurts, it really hurts.” Her voice broke on the last word and she covered her mouth with her hand to stop another sob from coming out.

She hated herself for the single tear that slid down her cheek.

“People get hurt when they get close to me!” Gibbs yelled, his eyes meeting hers for a split second, “People I love get hurt, Jack.”

“No.” She said holding up her hand, “No. You don’t get to make that decision for me! I am an adult, I can decide whether I want to risk that or not, you don’t get to push me away, make me feel like shit just because you’re afraid of being happy!”

“That’s not-”

“Yes it is!” She cut him off, “this is what you do! You push people away the minute you start to feel like maybe you could be happy and damnit, Gibbs, I’m trying, I’m trying so fucking hard to fight for you right now but you’re making it impossible.”

“I don’t want you to fight for me! I never asked you to fight for me!”

She bit her bottom lip and stared up at the ceiling, her heart breaking and her eyes filling with tears all over again.

“Fine.”

She turned on her heels and made a beeline for the bathroom, everything in her wanted to slam the door violently but she managed to refrain. She had barely managed to lock the door before the tears really started to fall, she was able to contain her sobs until she had the shower on to mask the noise but she didn’t even manage to make it into the shower, instead falling to the floor to bury her her face in her hands with her knees pulled up to her chest.

She had no idea how things had escalated so quickly from a somewhat civil conversation to an all out emotional screaming match but she really wasn’t sure how she would survive the night in the same room as Gibbs never mind the next twenty-one days in a car.

Leon had warned her when she had first moved to DC that Gibbs was a Grade A bastard and really she had never doubted him but he had always been at the bare minimum civil to her. There had been the odd moment when he’d lost his cool with her but it had always been with the best of intentions. She knew he thought he was doing the right thing for her but it didn’t make it hurt any less and it didn’t make it any less frustrating that he didn’t think she was capable of making her own decisions.

When she realized that the water had already been running for a good ten minutes she stripped down and stepped into the steamy shower, not even noticing that the water was scalding hot and would no doubt leave her skin an alarming shade of red. It took her another ten minutes to focus herself enough to wash her hair and clean her body and even when that was done she stalled for another few minutes, just standing under the hot water.

By the time she turned off the shower, dried herself off, completed her nighttime routine and got dressed she had been in the bathroom for close to an hour. She hesitated for another minute before exiting the bathroom, not quite ready to face Gibbs just yet but when she stepped out into the cool hotel room her hesitation was in vain, the man was nowhere in sight.

She carefully hung up her work clothes and eyed the queen sized bed disdainfully. Just as she was about to climb into the bed her eyes landed on a note on the bedside table.

_Briefed Leon, went for a walk, will check for another room._

_Gibbs_

She rolled her eyes at the note, knowing exactly what he would find when he checked for another room but didn’t bother to call and tell him about the convention taking place at the hotel. She’d let him figure it out for himself.

She read a book on her phone for an hour before finally giving up and laying down to attempt to go to sleep. She dozed restlessly for close to half an hour before she heard the door to their room open quietly. She didn’t roll over as she listened to Gibbs almost silently gather his things before going into the bathroom. She heard the shower turn on and then off and he reappeared ten minutes later.

She could practically feel him hesitating behind her as he debated where to sleep and she gave an agitated sigh before reaching behind her to hit the empty side of the bed.

“Just get in the bed for the love of god.” She muttered angrily.

He seemed to sense that it wasn’t in his best interest to argue with her because a moment later she felt the blankets being pulled back before the mattress dipped behind her.

She breathed in deeply and braced herself for another sleepless night.


	3. Cracking Under Pressure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW!!! Read with caution! Thank you for your kudos and comments!

Chapter Three

She watched the scenery fly by outside the window and bit her lip to stop herself from saying anything that she would regret. They had only spoken to each other when absolutely necessary since the night before and she was grateful that if nothing else they were already most of the way through the four and a half hour trip to Memphis to Tennessee.

She had always been the type to be thankful for small mercies but in that moment the relief she was feeling was so overwhelming that she thought she might cry. Her normally comfortable skirt was constricting her, her blouse was itchy and she really had to pee but she refused to ask Gibbs to pull over.

She chewed her thumbnail and tried to think about anything other than the tense silence in the car and her protesting bladder. Her glance strayed over to Gibbs and she could tell by the clenching in his jaw and the way he was gripping the steering wheel that he was just about as happy about the situation as she was.

She actually let out an audible sigh of relief as they pulled into the Memphis field office’s parking lot and sprang out of the car as soon as Gibbs put it in park.

***

By the time they made it to the hotel at 2100 that night she was exhausted. They had spent most of the day touring the Memphis office and going over open cases with the local agents, by the time they had briefed with Leon, stopped for a quick supper and checked into the hotel Jack wasn’t sure she’d be able to remain standing much longer, never mind stay awake and dealing with the prevalent silence between her and Gibbs was doing absolutely nothing to help.

She opened the door to the hotel room and stepped in before heaving an angry sigh.

“Son of a bitch.” She muttered as soon as she saw the single bed in the middle of the room.

She heard Gibbs swear under his breath and tossed her backpack on the bed, it wasn’t late by her normal standards and any other night she would take a walk to get away but she was exhausted and they had to be up by 0400 to get on the road for their ten and a half hour long drive,the longest drive as of yet.

“I’m going to take a shower.” She muttered, opening her suitcase up to grab her pyjamas.

“Jack.”

“Nope.” She replied sharply as she walked past him, “not tonight.”

She slammed the door to the bathroom and quickly stripped off her work clothes and left them in a pile in the corner before stepping into the shower. She took her time washing her hair and shaving her legs, hoping that Gibbs would just crawl into bed so she wouldn’t have to see him or talk to him.

She turned off the shower and towelled off her body and hair, she pulled on her pyjama’s and grabbed her balled up clothing before heading back into the bedroom.

Gibbs was seated on the bed watching the bathroom door and she paused under his gaze.

“Jack.” He said again, his voice soft, almost defeated.

“I said not tonight.” She repeated as she walked past him.

She felt his hand close around her wrist and closed her eyes tightly against the mix of emotions that ran through her at the contact. The first real contact they’d had in almost five months.

“I’m too tired for this right now.” She whispered.

She felt his grip tighten imperceptibly on her wrist and she turned to face him, her expression was tired but her eyes were flashing a dangerous shade of anger.

“Let me go before I _make_ you let me go.” She warned quietly.

He dropped her wrist quickly and stood up from the bed, “Please.”

She did a double take at the tone of his voice, quiet, almost pleading as he silently begged her to acknowledge him in a way that wasn’t full of anger.

“No.” She replied, her voice quiet but firm, “You said you didn’t want me to fight for you… I’m done fighting.”

Her shoulders slumped in defeat as she turned away from him, “I’m done fighting.” She repeated, her voice barely a whisper.

“I made a mistake.” He admitted quietly.

She heard her neck snap as she turn around to face him, her eyes full of rage as she looked at him.

“You made a mistake?” She laughed mirthlessly, “Do ya think?” She asked sarcastically, “Do. You. Fucking. Think?”

She saw the slightly wounded look on his face but she couldn’t find it in herself to care, not when she was angry and in pain because of him. The doctor in her, the woman who was trained to be empathetic wanted her to care but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it.

“You made a mistake.” She said again, “Do you have a plan to fix it because guess what we’re-”

The words died on her lips as his hands flew to her hips, she barely had time to register what was happening before he had her pulled against him, his head bent down to claim her lips in a searing kiss that had her going weak in the knees in a matter of seconds.

It took a moment for her brain to catch up with what was happening but as soon as it did she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer with a moan. She felt him wrap his arms around her waist and she gently nipped his lower lip before tracing her tongue over it, silently asking for access which he quickly granted.

In all her years of experience she wasn’t sure she had ever heard anything as sexy as the quiet moan that came out ofLeroy Jethro Gibbs’ mouth as her tongue brushed his for the first time.

She leaned further against him and used her body to steer him back towards the bed, when she felt him jolt as the backs of his knees hit the mattress she moved her hands down to his chest and gave a gentle shove so he was sitting on the edge of the mattress.

She bent down to claim his lips in another kiss before shifting above him, settling a knee on either side of his thighs so she was straddling his lap. She felt his hands land on her lower back again and groaned quietly as they slide down to cover her ass and pull her closer against him.

She broke the kiss with a gasp as she felt herself brush against the beginnings of his erection, she rocked against him more firmly and saw his eyes darken and felt him harden even more.

“Feel good?” She asked with a raised eyebrow.

When he didn’t answer she rocked against him again and then paused, waiting for him to answer her question.

“Yeah.” He muttered.

She dropped her lips back to his and continued to gently roll her hips against him until he was fully hard beneath her. She ran her hands down his chest, touching everywhere she possibly could before running them over his back, reaching down to grab the hem of his shirt.

She pulled the shirt out of his dress pants and began to undo all the buttons she could reach before pushing the shirt back off of his shoulders to reveal his undershirt. She started moving her hips faster as he kissed a trail down her throat and she moaned loudly when he lightly bit down on her neck just as she shifted her hips and found the perfect angle with just the right amount of pressure on her aching clit.

It had been a long time since she had been able to cum fully clothed but she was seriously starting to consider that an option as she rocked against him. She was reaching the edge when his hands landed on her hips and he stilled her in his lap.

“Jack wait.” He panted quietly.

She groaned and dropped her forehead to his shoulder, “now is really not the time for second guessing, Gibbs.”

If he wanted to stop she wouldn’t push the issue but she needed a minute to calm down or a minute alone to get herself off if that was the case or she was going to be an absolute monster if she had to deal with his moods _and_ unresolved sexual tension.

“Not second guessing.” He muttered against her neck, “Just need a minute.”

She pulled back as realization dawned on her, “Really?” She asked, trying to contain a smug smirk, “that close already?”

“It’s been awhile.” He replied through clenched teeth.

She debated how to proceed for a moment before leaning in close to his ear, “if it makes you feel better.” She whispered, “I was about a minute from cumming in my panties.”

He groaned and dropped his forehead back to her shoulder. She smirked at the effect she had on him and decided to double down.

“I mean I could just finish myself.” She added as she ran her hand over her stomach, making sure he felt it against his own body. “I’ve gotten really good at that.”

She felt his head snap up just as she slipped her hand into her shorts and over her damp panties, for the short amount of time they had been making out like horny teenagers she couldn’t believe how wet she already was. She brushed the crotch of her underwear to the side and slid a finger through her soaked folds and moaned. She could feel his hard cock against the back of her hand beneath her and if he let her keep going she really would cum in a matter of minutes.

She raised herself up on her knees and began to rock against her hand as she slid one finger inside of herself and pressed her thumb against her clit. Her head fell backwards as her movements sped up and she only stopped when Gibbs’ hand closed around her wrist.

“Don’t.” He ordered gently.

She leaned forward and kissed him, pulling back enough to nip at his lower lip, “then get me off.”

She gasped in surprise when he abruptly stood up, taking her with him before turning around and laying her back on the bed. She pushed herself up on her elbows and watched intently as he pulled off his undershirt and undid his belt. Her eyes landed on the scar running down the centre of his chest but she didn’t let them linger. There would be time later to catalogue scars and other markings, _if there was another time_ she thought to herself. She quickly pushed aside all of the implications that came with sleeping together, exactly how complicated it could make everything as Gibbs pushed his pants and boxers to the ground to reveal his cock. Long, thick, hard and leaking precum, she clenched her thighs together as she studied him and reached down to discard her own shorts and underwear. She spread her legs for him, shivering as the cold air hit her soaked folds. She shifted back on the bed as he climbed onto the bed and kneeled between her legs, leaning down to kiss her much more gently then he had all night.

“You sure?” He asked quietly.

Up to that point there had been very little gentleness or caring involved in what they were doing, a part of her was relieved for that because she was still pissed at him and she wasn’t sure she could have maintained that if he had been gentle or loving with her. It wasn’t how she had imagined their first time, slow and gentle in his living room in front of the fire or passionate and desperate against his boat, but she should have known that this was how their first time would be.

“Yes.” She replied confidently.

She wasn’t a virgin and she wasn’t a starry eyed teenager, she didn’t need rose petals or candles, hell she didn’t even need love anymore. She had always imagined at least one of those things when it came to sleeping with Gibbs but as long as he relieved the ache between her legs she really didn’t care at that point. She had always been an impulsive person and she would deal with the consequences in the morning.

“I don’t-”

“It’s fine.” She cut him off quickly, she reached blindly over the side of the bed before she came into contact with her purse and reached into the side pocket to pull out a condom.

She handed the foil packet to him and leaned up and pulled off her shirt before leaning back down. She bit her bottom lip as she watched him give himself a few quick strokes before rolling on the condom.

She fell back against the bed and tossed her head back with a moan as he swiped a finger through her folds to make sure she was ready.

“Damn, Jack.” He muttered in awe.

“Told you I was close.”

He slid a finger into her and gave a few gentle pumps before withdrawing and moving over her completely. She felt him brush against her and wrapped one leg around his hip to pull him closer, while her other hand slipped between them to tease his length over her a few times, before positioning him at her entrance. She bit her lip as he started to press in and her free hand flew to his shoulder with a gasp. She had known he was big, had seen it with her own two eyes and felt it in her hand but all of a sudden she realized just how big the size difference between them was.

“You okay?”

“Yeah.” She replied breathlessly, “Just go slow, it’s been awhile.”

She took a deep breath and forced herself to relax as Gibbs slowly pushed into her, stopping after the first couple of inches to give her time to adjust. She carefully rocked her hips up against him after a few moments and felt him begin to rock back and forth, slowly easing his way into her. She dropped her leg from his hip and let both of her legs fall open to give him more room and tossed her head back as the sensation turned from an almost painful stretch to a pleasantly full feeling as she adjusted to him.

“Shit.” She muttered when he hit a particularly good angle.

She started rocking her hips faster, giving him silent permission to actually start to move and bit her lip as he slipped another inch inside of her.

“You good?” He asked again.

“Yes… Now fuck me.” She ordered.

Her eyes meet his as he pulled back and wrapped his arm under one of her thighs before pulling it up, opening her more to him. He slid back in and she let out a loud cry as he bottomed out in her and began to make long, even strokes into her. She could feel her thighs beginning to shake in the position and wrapped her free leg back around him to spur him on.

“There… Right there.” She gasped as he hit her G-spot, “Harder, Gibbs.”

“Don’t wanna hurt you.” He muttered against her neck.

Even in her lust addled mind she realized the bitter irony of his words, had he not hurt her they probably wouldn’t be in this position in the first place.

She didn’t respond verbally, instead tightened her leg around him and began to rock up against him, meeting him thrust for thrust as he began to speed up his movements. She felt herself getting closer and closer and moved her free hand down between their bodies to rub against her clit.

“Yes…” She gasped as she felt her walls starting to flutter around him, “Yes… Don’t stop, Gibbs… Oh God, don’t stop…”

She opened her mouth in a soundless scream as she fell over the edge, her fingers flying over her clit and his cock hitting her g-spot at just the right time. She felt him give a few more hard thrusts before he buried his face in her neck and came with a low groan.

She was still feeling the aftershocks of her orgasm when he moved to pull out of her so she wrapped her legs around him and held him in place.

“Don’t move.” She whispered, “I just need a minute.”

She was sensitive and she knew any sort of stimulation from him at that point would be too much. She waited until she felt him softening inside of her to drop her legs from around his waist and whimpered as he puled out of her, her muscles contracting at the sudden empty feeling.

She rolled over in bed and made a grab for her t-shirt, she pulled it over her head and sat up to pull on her shorts. She stood up and disappeared into the bathroom before Gibbs had even moved from his spot sitting on the edge of the bed.

By the time she returned from the bathroom Gibbs was laying back in bed his back to her, facing her side of the room. Looking at him laying in bed it suddenly hit her how big of a mistake she had made.

“Jack.” He muttered when she didn’t move.

She watched him pull the sheets down on ‘her’ side of the bed and she managed to unroot her feet from the floor to climb into bed. She laid down on her side facing away from him and closed her eyes. She felt him shift behind her and stiffened when his hand landed on her hip.

“Gibbs.” She warned quietly.

She didn’t want to talk and she wasn’t exactly in the mood for cuddling, she felt his hand squeeze before it slid off of her hip. She took a deep breath and bit her lip to keep the frustrated tears welling in her eyes at bay.


	4. Back to Us

** Chapter Four **

She rolled out of bed half an hour before her alarm went off, made a beeline for the shower and grabbed her bags all before Gibbs stirred.

“I’m going to start checking out.” She told him, bailing out of the room before he could utter a word or ask a question.

She popped an Advil as she waited for the elevator doors to open into the hotel lobby, she had barely slept the night before, the third night in a row and she was starting to feel it.

She had completed the check out paperwork by the time Gibbs appeared in the lobby, she waited while he pulled the car around and wordlessly helped him put all of their luggage in the trunk. She closed the trunk and made her way around to the passenger seat. Gibbs already had the car running as she carefully lowered herself into the seat with a small wince.

“You okay?” He asked, glancing over at her.

She felt the blush spreading across her nose, “A bit sore.”

Gibbs quickly averted his gaze at her admission and she rolled her eyes as they pulled out of the parking lot.

“Are you hungry?”

“Not yet, it’s too early to eat.” She replied, “I could use a coffee though.”

Gibbs grunted his agreement and drove for a few minutes before pulling into a coffee shop parking lot.

“I’ll go in.” He offered when she started to get up.

“Thanks.”

She pulled her earbuds out of her purse and plugged them into her phone, she set up her music while she waited for Gibbs and silently hopped that she’d be able to sleep on the long car ride. She nodded gratefully when Gibbs climbed back into the car and handed her a large coffee.

“We gonna talk about it?” He asked after another ten minutes of strained silence.

“We had sex.” She stated, “there’s nothing to talk about.”

“Jack…”

“It was a mistake.” She replied, “let’s just leave it at that.”

She wasn’t in the mood to tell him that it had meant something to her only to get rejected, she wasn’t in the mood to sit in even worse awkward silence for the remaining ten hours in the car.

“Was it?”

She looked over at him, “Wasn’t it?”

He shrugged, “Not to me.”

She looked over at him in surprise, his eyes were still focused on the road and his jaw was clenched in a hard line and she knew what the admission had cost him.

“I’ll see if I can get another room tonight.” He offered quietly when she didn’t respond.

“No.” She replied with a sigh.

She ran her hand over her face and bit her thumbnail.

“I can’t…” She trailed off with another quiet sigh, “I can’t just forget what you said, that’s not how I work and you know it.”

“I know.” Gibbs agreed quietly.

“I know that you’re scared-” She shot him a look warning him not to argue, “and you have that right more than anyone else, I know the numbers, I know your history but I am a grown woman and I’m fully capable of protecting myself…. Be that as it may I shouldn’t have to protect myself from you, Gibbs… I shouldn’t have to protect my heart from you…”

“I know.”

“I know you’re not big on words, Cowboy but I’m gonna need a bit more than ‘I know’.” She said, her eyes focused on the road ahead instead of him.

“I shouldn’t have said it.”

“But you meant it.” She stated softly, “You meant it and that’s the problem.”

“I…” Gibbs trailed off with a small sigh, “I don’t want you to fight for me, Jack… Don’t wanna risk that.”

“Risk what?” She asked, finally looking over at him, “Risk my life? Because we both know that’s BS, Gibbs. I’m a big girl, I outrank you damn it, I can take care of myself so stop using that as the excuse that we both know it is.”

“Don’t wanna risk our friendship.” He muttered.

“I think the way things are going our friendship is effectively over.” She stated, “unless we can either forget what happened or find a way to deal with it.”

“Don’t wanna forget it.”

“Then I think you need to figure out what the hell you want, Gibbs.”

“What do you want?”

Jack looked over at him and bit her lower lip, she knew what she wanted, she wanted her friend back, she wanted things to go back to the way they were but she also wanted something more and as much as she wanted things to go back to the way they had been she wondered if it would just be better if they made a clean break. It would hurt more in the moment but it might be easier on her heart if they made a clean break.

“I want my friend back.” She whispered, looking down at her lap, “I want the stormy silence to stop, I want to either go back to the way things were or…”

“Or what?” He asked.

She could hear something akin to dread in his voice and bit her thumb.

“Or we save ourselves a world of hurt and just walk away.”

“Walk away?” He asked slowly.

“Yeah, Gibbs.” She replied, she couldn’t keep the coldness out of her voice as she spoke. “You don’t want me to fight for you so either we go back to the way things were or we walk away.”

She saw him tense out of the corner of her eye and watched him rub his jaw roughly, she didn’t know what else to say so she remained silent.

“Can’t walk away.” He stated a few minutes later.

“So we go back to the way things were then.” Jack replied simply.

She saw something flash across his face, something she had never seen before but he just nodded silently.

“I know you’re not a big talker, Cowboy, but if these next couple of weeks are going to be bearable you’re going to need to say more than a few words a day.”

He grunted something and she rolled her eyes, some of her irritation with him had ebbed but she knew it would quickly return if he kept the silence up.

N*C*I*S

By the time they reached their hotel room that night she was dead on her feet, she had no desire to take a walk or do anything other than fall into bed. They had been in the car for almost eleven hours and then had spent another four hours at the Charleston field office. It was 2100 by the time they had even reached the hotel and 2130 by the time they had gotten checked in. She waited as Gibbs opened the door to their room and sighed when she saw the single queen sized bed in the middle of the room. She was passed the point of caring as she tossed her bag on the bed and grabbed the pair of pyjama’s she had purposely left on the top layer of her clothes.

“I’m gonna grab a shower.” She muttered, not even looking at Gibbs as she passed by him.

She didn’t bother taking her time in the shower, she washed her hair as quickly as possible then turned off the warm spray. The only thing she wanted as to lay down and sleep, even if that meant risking the nightmares.

She changed into her pyjamas, brushed her teeth and pulled her damp hair back into a ponytail before exiting the bathroom. Gibbs passed by her on his way to the bathroom and she waited for the door to close before climbing into the bed. She was almost asleep when she head Gibbs leave the bathroom and climb into bed behind her.

“Night, Jack.” He whispered.

She opened her mouth to mutter a response but no sound came out as she drifted off.


	5. Yours If You Want It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys! I totally didn't realize it has been two months since I've updated this, life has been insane lately so I'm super sorry for the wait but I hope you enjoy!

**Chapter Five**

She woke up to warmth, warmth and something hard pressing against her ass, as she woke up she realized that the warmth was emanating from the former marine wrapped around her. She felt him move slightly behind her and her attention shifted to the hard cock pressing against her ass.

She felt Gibbs’ arms tighten around her and she debated the best way to proceed, she could try and slip out of his grip but she had a feeling that that would only serve to wake him up and leave them in an awkward position. She could wait and hope that he would roll away on his own but judging by his tight grip on her he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. She reached up and gently ran her hand over the arm that was wrapped around her waist, the contact made Gibbs nuzzle his nose into her neck and inch that much closer to her.

She rolled her eyes at the snuggling but didn’t move her hand. She finally resigned herself to her fate and let her mind wander. She thought about work for a few minutes before her mind landed back on the man behind her, and particularly a certain part of the man behind her.

She tried to stop her mind from going to that place but it was hard with him pressing insistently into her back. She thought of how good he had felt inside of her and silently clenched her thighs together. She felt Gibbs shift again and knew he was slowly waking up, just as she was starting to enjoy the position she found herself in. 

“Mornin’.” Gibbs muttered, obviously still half asleep.

“I’d say you’re having a very _good_ morning.” She replied, a small smirk on her face.

She could have avoided the situation but that wasn’t who she was, and at this point things weren’t going to get worse between them so she may as well get in a bit of teasing while she could, payback for the last few days of silence.

He seemed to wake up more at her comment and realize exactly where they were and she felt him tense and tilt his hips away from her before stilling again.

“Doesn’t sound like you’re complaining.” He commented after a moment.

She raised an eyebrow at his comment but didn’t turn over, “Just making a comment.” She replied, neither confirming nor denying his statement.

She felt him shift fractionally back towards her and her breath caught in her throat. They were at a crossroads again, either they could walk away and pretend that the last ten minutes hadn’t happened or they could cross the line again, something that could only end badly.

Walking away had never been their strong point.

She shifted back just as he moved closer to her and she let out a whisper of a moan as his erection brushed against her. She pressed back against him and she felt his hips jerk forward at the contact.

“We don’t have a whole lot of time to work with, Gunny.” She reminded him.

She filed away his quiet groan in the back of her mind, she hadn’t expected the use of his title to affect him that much but judging by the groan and the slight buck of his hips it was having more than the desired affect on him.

She glanced over at the old alarm clock on their bedside table and saw that they had less then fifteen minutes before the alarm went off and they were on a tight schedule for the day, there would be no pressing of the snooze button.

She felt him shift closer to her and shut her eyes as his hand slid into her shorts and underneath her panties. She ground down against his hand as his rough fingers brushed across her clit and let her head tilt back as his free hand worked its way out from under her to cup her breast over her shirt.

It was the rocking of his hips against her back that reminded her that they were on a deadline, she reached behind her and snaked her hand between them to brush her fingers over Gibbs’ cloth covered erection just as he slid one long finger into her.

“Not a whole lotta room to work with here, Jack.”

She shifted slightly to give him a bit more room but he was still only able to make shallow thrusts, the heel of his hand pressing against her clit. She slid her hand our from between them and used it to pull her shorts and underwear most of the way off before kicking them the rest of the way down under the covers before her hand returned to it’s previous exploration.

She felt him slide out of her and wrap his hand around her thigh, she made a quiet hum before leaning over the side of the bed to grab a condom out of her purse. She handed it back to him and heard the foil rip and then he was pulling her thigh back over his before sliding into her.

It didn’t take long for either of them to fall over the edge and Jack was pulling her shorts back on to climb out of bed just as the alarm went off.

Gibbs was already in the bathroom so she shut the alarm off and chose her outfit for the day, a light black and white stripped dress that she knew would be comfortable in the car and would counter the Orlando heat.

She gathered up her outfit and grabbed her makeup bag before going into the now vacant bathroom.

She hopped into the shower to quickly rinse off before pulling on her clothes and doing her hair and makeup quickly.

“I’m going down to do the checkout.” Gibbs called through the bathroom door.

“I’ll meet you down there in a minute!” She called back as she put the finishing touches on her light makeup.

It only took her a minute to re-pack her suitcase and she was entering the lobby just as Gibbs finished signing the last paper. She followed him out into the parking lot and they loaded the car in silence.

She didn’t even bother offering to drive as she climbed into the passenger seat and pulled out her laptop.

“Have you talked to your kids?” She asked after a few minutes.

“I talked to Tim yesterday, everything is fine there.” Gibbs replied, glancing over at her out of the corner of his eye, “Why?”

“I was just wondering.” Jack replied with a shrug, “I’ve heard from Ellie and Delilah a few times but that’s it.”

“Have you sent Leon the report on Charleston?”

“I’m just finishing it up right now and I’ll have it sent in the next hour.” She replied.

He nodded and turned his attention back to the road. She was putting the finishing touches on her report just as Gibbs pulled into a gas station.

“Do you want coffee or anything?” She asked.

She knew he wouldn’t drink gas station coffee but she saw a small coffee shop in the next parking lot over.

“Sure.”

She grabbed her wallet and hopped out of the vehicle, the walk across the parking lot was a welcome opportunity to stretch and enjoy some solitude for the first time in days. She took her time enjoying the early morning air, warm but not overly hot yet.

She entered the little coffee shop and ordered their coffees, black for him and after a moments debate she splurged on a mocha for herself. By the time she exited the coffee shop Gibbs had moved the car around and was waiting for her in the parking lot. He nodded his head in thanks as she climbed back in the car and gave a small hum of approval when he took a swig from his cup.

“Good coffee.” He commented when she raised an eyebrow at him.

She took a sip and nodded her agreement. They fell back into silence but this time Jack didn’t find it strained, they were slowly returning to their usual comfortable relationship. It was nowhere near where it had been, and there was still a very big elephant in the room so to speak but they were getting there.

“If we get done early enough today there’s something I’d like to do.” She commented after a few minutes.

“We’ll be there at 1100, can’t see us being any later than 14 or 1500.” Gibbs replied, “what’d you have in mind.”

“There’s a beach about an hour from the office.” Jack replied slowly, “You don’t have to come with me or anything, but I miss the beach.”

“I’ll go.” Gibbs replied with a small shrug, “Unless you wanna go alone.”

“No, that’s fine.”

She wouldn’t mind a trip alone but she also really didn’t want to leave Gibbs alone without a vehicle. She really just wanted to get an hour of surfing in and she knew that Gibbs wouldn’t actually go in with her so him sitting on the beach didn’t really bother her.

N*C*I*S

He didn’t know what he had been expecting when she had suggested going to the beach but he was sure he hadn’t properly prepared himself for what he got.He had expected her to want to walk along the beach, happy to listen to the waves and people watch. He hadn’t expected her to rent a board, he hadn’t expected her to don a long sleeved bikini with high cut bottoms that covered her scars but showed off her toned stomach.

As much as he hadn’t expected it he couldn’t say he minded watching her bob in the water, her blonde hair loose around her shoulders as she waited for the perfect wave. The beach was relatively empty, it being close enough to dinner that most of the young families had left, leaving only a few surfers and couples walking the beach.

His mind wandered to the events of that morning and the conversation they had valiantly avoided all day. He definitely wasn’t complaining about getting to see that side of Jack but he was worried they had damaged their friendship. He depended on Jack in more ways than he was willing to admit and he couldn’t bear the thought of losing her. He knew he had been a bastard over the last week, never mind the last month or two, and he wanted to apologize but at the same time he was afraid of letting her get close… He was afraid of her getting hurt…

Her words from two days earlier jumped back at him _‘_ _Do you not understand that in trying to ‘protect’ me you’re hurting me? Because this hurts, it really hurts.’_ He had hated himself in that moment and he hated himself then just thinking about it. ‘ _You don’t get to push me away, make me feel like shit just because you’re afraid of being happy!’_ The more he thought about it the more he realized she had a very valid point, as much as he was trying to protect her he was trying to protect himself from her.

He snapped back to attention as Jack shifted and started paddling out, he watched as she caught the wave and couldn’t help the wide grin that spread across his face as he watched her pop up on her board with a huge smile on her face. It wasn’t a huge wave and it was over almost as soon as it started but he could see the joy it brought her. He watched her make a motion towards another person in the water and heard her laughter echoing over the sound of the waves.

He didn’t want to protect himself from her. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks and he physically jolted. He knew she had the power to ruin him. She had the ability to tilt his world on its axis and that terrified him but he suddenly realized that living without her terrified him even more and he was dangerously close to shoving her out of his world if he didn’t start treating her better.

He didn’t know how to proceed from that point but he knew he needed to change a lot of things and quickly. His mind wandered as she continued to surf, and before he knew it she was walking back up the beach towards him, her hair wet and a huge smile on her face.

“Have fun?”

She looked almost surprised by his question but nodded, “It’s nothing like California but it’s still nice to get back out for a bit.”

“You can keep going.” He offered.

“No, we still have the drive back to the hotel, and I’m getting hungry.” She added with a small smirk.

She nodded towards the makeshift change rooms near the parking lot, “I’m going to go change really quick, are you sure you don’t want to go in?”

He shook his head and she nodded before wandering off. He knew she understood his reluctance to go in, he could barely handle showering never mind the ocean after his time in Paraguay.

He gathered the book he had brought to read, his glasses and his phone and wallet before making his way towards the parking lot. He reached the edge of the beach just as Jack reappeared. His breath caught in his throat as she appeared out of the change room in a light blue, short sleeved sundress, her damp hair was falling in unruly waves around her shoulders and she had a contented smile on her face.

“You okay?”

He was brought out of his trance by her question and he swallowed quickly and nodded.

“Do you wanna grab something to eat?” He asked, nodding towards the pier at the other side of the beach.

“Sure.”

N*C*I*S

Jack fell into step next to Gibbs as they made their way down the beach to the pier, the breeze drying her hair and blowing her skirt as they walked.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” She asked again after a few minutes of silence

She saw him glance over at her before nodding, “Never better.”

She gave him a skeptical look before turning back to watch where she was walking, her eyes took in the other people walking the beach and everything going on around them but she could still feel Gibbs’ eyes on her.

They wandered down the pier until they found a small restaurant almost right at the end, an open air cross between tiki bar and a beach style pub with tables spread around.

“This good?” He asked nodding to the restaurant.

“Looks fabulous.” Jack replied, following him in.

Gibbs asked for a table of two and they followed the hostess, Jack looked back in surprise when she felt Gibbs’ hand settle low on her back as they walked to their table.

“Is this alright?” The hostess asked.

Jack looked at the two person table right against the railing, the breeze blowing through the open wall and the sound of the waves carried up to the pier.

“This is perfect, thank you.” Jack replied sincerely.

She raised an eyebrow when Gibbs pulled out her chair for her but kept her mouth shut as she took a seat.

“You’re server will be with you shortly.” The hostess said before wandering away.

Jack opened her menu and widened her eyes at one of the options, “There’s a gator section in this menu.” She stated in disbelief.

“God bless Florida.” Gibbs deadpanned as he opened his menu.

Jack snorted and returned to her menu, she had no idea what had happened in the time she had gone surfing but it was like a different person was sitting across from her. She recognized this Gibbs, the Gibbs that she had become friends with a year earlier but he had been notably absent in the past few months, replaced by a shell of himself.

She found what she wanted and closed her menu before folding her arms on the table.

“What’s goin’ on, Cowboy?”

She made sure to keep her voice calm and soft, free of accusation and judging by the look Gibbs gave her it had worked. He closed his menu, leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. His body language was closed off but his expression was open as he studied her.

“Why’re you asking?”

She rolled her eyes at his diversion, “I just am… You’re different all of a sudden.”

“Different?”

“Less of a bastard.” She replied bluntly, “At least until about two minutes ago.”

His face softened further and he shrugged, “I figured out what I want.”

Her mind flashed back to their conversation the previous day, “ _Then I think you need to figure out what the hell you want, Gibbs.”_

“And?” She asked slowly.

Gibbs opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted by their waitress approaching. Jack internally groaned as she listened to their waitress list off the specials before taking their order.

Jack leaned forward as the waitress left them alone and waited to see if Gibbs would continue with their conversation.

“Gibbs.” She prompted after a few minutes of silence.

‘You.”

She took in a deep breath and tried to process what he had just said.

“What do you mean?” She asked softly.

“You told me to figure out what I want.” Gibbs replied quietly, “I want you.”

“For sex? As a friend?” She asked, “I need you to be a little bit more clear here, Cowboy.”

“You.” He replied again, “Whatever you’re willing to give.”

Jack took another deep breath and leaned back in her chair, “I… I don’t know if I can handle you acting like you want me and then getting cold feet again… I don’t know if I can take that again.”

“I know.” Gibbs replied, “And… I’m sorry, Jack.”

She wasn’t sure she heard the words correctly they were said so quietly but she could tell by the look on his face that he meant them.

“You have a rule against that.” She reminded him softly.

“You deserve to hear it…” He replied, “You deserve better than what I’ve given you.”

“Yeah.” She agreed quietly, “I understand why you did what you did… I don’t approve of it but I get it.” She added, “Maybe next time try talking to me instead of shutting me out… I’ve been told I’m a good listener.”

Her last remark earned her a small smile from him.

“Talking’s never been my strong suit.” It was her turn to smile at his remark and he chucked before continuing, “Three failed marriages and one failed engagement to attest to that.”

“You’re getting better.” She replied with a small shrug, “I’m not saying I need a miracle over night… But I can’t get attached all over again only to have you disappear without giving me a reason.”

“I know.” He said, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the table, “I can’t promise perfection but… I wanna try, Jack.”

She could see the honesty and the vulnerability on his face and she knew he was sacrificing a lot to make that statement, that he was genuinely trying to show he he was willing to try for her.

“I’m not good at this either, Cowboy.” Jack admitted, “but I want to try if you do.”

She leaned forward and reached across the table to gently touch Gibbs’ arm, “But I’m also fine just being friends.” She added softly.

He shifted and rested his hand over hers on his arm, “I think we’re past that.”

Jack laughed and nodded, “We may have blown that to hell.” She agreed, “But I still want my friend, even if there’s more to it.” She added more seriously.

“Me too.” Gibbs replied sincerely.


End file.
